So I'm in Arizona visiting Karl. He's down here for a couple of weeks straight, so I said I'd fly down for a few days to see him. Mostly I'm here because he's been wanting me to join him on a business trip for a 6 months or more. I'm glad I'm here. It's really making him happy to show me around this place he spends so much of his time lately ( Read more... )

A few weeks ago, Karl and I were in San Fransisco for a few days. No real reason for the trip. He's been bugging me to go somewhere with him, and that's were we ended up. To save money and make getting around town a little easier, we stayed in the Tenderloin district which is one of the more questionable neighborhoods of the city. For the most part ( Read more... )

So the baby isn't even born yet and I'm already trying to buy his love ( Read more... )

I was talking to John the other day about the strangeness I went through when my father died. It's funny to me how at the time I thought I was fine, but looking back I think my sanity slipped a little. Stumbled a bit. I kinda forgot how daily life worked for a while. School was a joke. I'm pretty sure I missed days of class without even knowing it ( Read more... )

I seem to have misplaced my equilibrium. Has anyone seen it ( Read more... )

( Health Stuff )

I’m afraid of being a bag lady. I’m terrified that one day I’ll be old, poor, alone, and on the streets. One of those people who falls through the cracks. I’ve had this fear as far back as I can remember, and rational or not, this fear shapes almost everything in my life. Happiness, freedom, love, everything takes a backseat to my fear ( Read more... )

Ten years ago, I started dating my husband, and talking about my past. Before Karl, I’d never been in a relationship long enough that my history became pertinent. Suddenly talking about my past, telling my secrets, was necessary to become really intimate. I was assured any number of times that talking would make things better. And in some ways, it ( Read more... )

I -hate- the first few days of a depression. I know that the later days, after it's been dragging on for weeks, are hard. The thing is they are more tiring than painful. It drags on me, wears me down till I can't move, but there is also that apathy that makes it livable. The first days are the worst because while I'm slipping down the slope I know ( Read more... )

Excerpt from a conversation tonight with my best friends ( Read more... )